Here’s how you end global warming through charitable efforts
- Host a bike marathon charity fundraiser for a green initiativethat ends with the cyclists leaping off a ramp through a blazing ring of fire.
- Replace pre-victory Gatorade Dixie cups with red cups of gasoline.
- As the bikers cross the finish line,the spandex outfits with fake sponsors
will catch fire, and melt into the cyclists’ skin,
grafting them to the bike permanently
so they can forever clog up the roads
and make it impossible for cars to participate in the human miracle
of the combustion engine.
So do you see how
in the end,
setting fire to fossil fuels
in the immediate proximity of eco-activists
wearing sports equipment made from an oil bi-product
turns out to be the answer to climate change after all?
That’s how that saying
“hair of the dog that bit you” works.
Cool, huh?
Okay, son,
Daddy’s gonna get another beer.
Get dressed, and I’ll drive you to school.
**
A Narcissist Writes Letters, To Himself 
Your writing is a trip. A very well needed, refreshing trip.
I wish everyone reads this and tries to get the frightening global warming under control. Thanks for sharing.
Oh, by the way…Daddy decided he doesn’t need to take his medication anymore. Hey, kids! Look! A gun store! WHO WANTS TO GO TO THE GUN STORE WITH DADDY???
Now this is what I call a sensible solution!
Ha! excellent!!
Omg you are stinking hilarious
finally, some one who hates wanna be lance armstrongs as much as i do.
Dark, my friend. But I liked it…
I think you’ve become my favorite blog of all time.
Please tell me you’ve read Infinite Jest. Your elegiac humor indirectly reminds me of DFW. Hope that isn’t an insult.
Bwahahahaha! Totally.
Great read – hilarious images. Thanks for that!
Hey.. whatever in can do to help 😉
That is so funny.You sound just like my brother . . . and my son . . . and my grand-kids. It kinda runs in the family.
Thanks for being so eco-conscious… Flame on!
I gotta hand it to you, Eric. You think outside the box.
While you are driving your son to school, make sure to knock some cyclists over.
remind me not to join in any biking marathons that you might be attending. 🙂
Daddy….NO…….:) it seems you have done it again with a thought provoking and interesting post. Hugs
You have my vote already. But do you have ideas on Social Security?
Oh, now, the last marathon bike charity fundraiser I saw ended with the bicyclists jumping through a ring of ice. Won’t work at all, that way. Tch.
Dude you give me jokes
I laughed until I spewed coffee here and there, probably because I read this while sitting in my living room watching parents from my neighborhood drive their children to a school three blocks away. Perfect!
Works for me! The bike riders in Portland OR are atrocious; taking up all the roads. Go for it Daddy! Enjoy another beer for me! BTW, thanks for visiting my blog post called “Mental Health Mondays” and giving it a thumbs up. So, I am visiting your blog now and I am going to become a follower too. I look forward to reading more of your posts. I love the title of your blog-it is the bomb!!!
Ta Ta for now, Cathy the Bagg Lady
That was a funny one. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.
Powerful stuff – sounds very angry!
Terrific. Poignantly dark in a way that drives home a point worth noting.
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I love your brand of humor I think they call it acerbic wit but what the heck call it what you like it is damned funny thanks for the laughs at the expense of the the knotheads who need it.
Where have you and your amazingly outlandish words been all my life? Haha, this stuff is fantastic.
I like to fart to much to ever be an environmentalists. I do however eat a lot of beef so maybe that counts in my favor as cattle farts are more potent than mine I’ve been told 😈