Letters to a Taxi Company

Letters to a Taxi Company.

Dear Sirs,

Please send a cab to my apartment at 935 Silver Lane, Apartment B. There is a stairwell which leads to my apartment behind the main house. I would have called in, but I do not have a phone.

Thank you,
W. Douglas Lum

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Dear Sirs,

I waited and waited for the cab but it never came. Then I realized I didn’t tell you what time or day to send the cab. I went to ask my neighbors if I could use their phone, but as always they pretended that they weren’t home. Typical. Anyway, let’s try this again. Please send a cab to my apartment this coming Monday at 9:00 AM.

Thank you,
W. Douglas Lum

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Dear Sirs,

So you probably got my last note on the Tuesday after the Monday I requested. I forgot the post office is closed on Sunday. I sent it out Saturday night. They didn’t pick it up until Monday. I’m at my wits end. Just send a cab over as soon as you get this. I’ll be there.

Thank you,
W. Douglas Lum

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Dear Sirs,

Did you send the cab on Friday the 19th between 9:36 AM and 11:53 AM? If so, I do greatly apologize for missing you. It had been so long, so I went down to my neighbor’s apartment to use their phone to call you and make sure you got the letter and were indeed intending to send a cab over.
They tried to ignore me at first, but once everyone’s car tires were returned, rinsed and reinflated, I got on the phone and was informed by Cindy at your front desk, that your company does not actually send cabs requested by letter, but she seemed like one of those bookish, nerd types that doesn’t know how men conduct business, if you catch my drift. You may have noticed the twenty dollars in Sacajaweas enclosed in this envelope. Consider it a pre-emptive tip from one independent business owner to another. An industry favor, if you will.

Thank you,
W. Douglas Lum

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Dear Sirs,

Forgetful Freddy over here. Monday, 9:00 AM. You, me and a cab.

Thank you,
W. Douglas Lum

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(A review found on Yelp)

No customer service. They stole twenty dollars from me. Zero Stars.

WmDLumberjack