I’m illustrating an educational cartoon
Just like the Isaac Newton apple/gravity fable
Except instead of Newton
It’s an ISIS child soldier,
A drone strike replaces the apple
& instead of the theory of gravity
The baby embraces secular representative government
& petrodollar based capitalism.
While it may seem like crooks run the world
a gentle stream of justice shall flow through Gotham
Once Batman gets a sweet, juicy tax cut;
because nothing deters crime
like blingier batarangs
& an increased susceptibility to medical bankruptcy.
Went on a job interview at a Zen monastery.
Didn’t have meditation experience
But according to my last three employers
I can sit around in a bathrobe with zero mental activity
like you wouldn’t believe.
I’m a volunteer
anonymous life-coach
although I’d like to see myself
as the Gordon Ramsay
of volunteer anonymous life-coaches
who works primarily with small children, the elderly
or any other park-goer off put by a clown
in full military camouflage
& there are nine of us in the camouflage
but I’m the Gordon Ramsay.
Bannon: The Trump Presidency we fought for is DEAD
***one day later***
Trump: Thank you for protesting bigotry and hate!
It was then I felt
a great erection in the Universe
as if millions of haters cried out, “#WAR”
& were suddenly silenced by Facebook, Google, GoDaddy, Twitter, MSM, BLM, Muslims, Jews, LGBTQs, Women, Latinos, Democrats, Republicans, Boston, The Pope, General Kelly, Heather Heyer and the sounds of their mothers saying their Meatball & Mozzarella LeanPockets were finished microwaving.
So yeah, global conspiracy confirmed
***
This piece is dedicated to Sir Richard Claxton Gregory – A true Knight of this Old Republic
Each year
more people die from suicide
than from all the world’s armed conflicts
An issue America will undoubtedly solve
with increased military spending
while also continuing the harvest of occupied Afghanistan’s poppy supply
(they produce 90% of the world’s opium)
which will then be made into overpriced prescription pain killers
whose exorbitant costs will be subsidized
using the public’s own money
in the form of a private health insurance subscription discount
as negotiated by the host of The Celebrity Apprentice
& not the host of The Celebrity Apprentice who actually has governing experience,
the other one.
But yeah, the shocking part is that people are killing themselves.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful
if Democrats and Republicans
set aside their differences
& came together under one roof
& then, due to decades
of neglectful infrastructure funding policy,
erosion collapsed that roof?
Today’s the day.
You can get the book here:
https://www.createspace.com/5919886
And now for a farewell (for now).
All methods, ideally, self-destruct.
I began this blog as a means of coping with depression, anxiety and anger.
I did so by expressing said depression, anxiety and anger
in jokes which made me laugh,
converting pain into something light and joyous.
But eventually, the natural pain subsides
and I was left with a vehicle
which demanded pain
such that beauty could be created.
So for many months, I asked myself to bleed
beyond what wounds were innately there,
and so the means of liberation from pain
became a trap within itself.
This is not to say I am done writing forever,
only that it is time to change gears,
and for that to happen one must give space.
You can write to me at poetrobot@gmail.com
and I will do my best to reply.
Again, if you are exceedingly poor but would still like a book,
let me know and we can make that happen.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Until we meet again
After the ressurection
the disciples stood in awe of Christ.
The miracles
they had seen before
but all paled in comparison
to His newfangled, freaky shadow puppets.
“Give a man a fish
& you feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish
& you feed him for a lifetime.”
-Lao Tzu
“Give a man a fish
& you feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish
& you feed him for a lifetime,
so clearly we need to stop teaching people how to fish.”
-leaked transcript of Lao Tzu’s paid speeches to Big Fish
