Maybe This Will Turn Me Into One Of Those Asians Who Says “Happy Happy Awesome Blog Fun Time”

Howdy Champ,

At the moment, you are at a loss of things to do.

BECAUSE YOU’RE DOING IT ALL ALREADY.

A new section of the blog has gone up. It is mostly reviews of comedy albums so old that they are ready to be checked out from the library. So is it entirely relevant? No. So what’s the point? To get myself to think critically about the albums in terms of craft as opposed to just casually listening and enjoying the stand-up on the bus, or whilst walking around the streets of San Francisco. Again, this is all for me – I simply invite you to check in on the journey should you please.

I had a long talk with my girlfriend the other day. I asked her, "Do you think I work hard enough? Or if I’m lazy?" As the question was coming out of my mouth I realized I was just fishing for compliments. I had spent nearly four hours compiling all the work I had done for the past two years onto this web space. That included an albums worth of songs, a book and a half as well as some other things.

I’m just impatient. I want more than what the world is ready to offer, and probably more than what I’m actually capable of handling. I guess it might be a function of ego, or arrogance, but isn’t that what I’m trying to cultivate here? Supposedly the answer is: Take that impatient energy, and channel it into more work…

So I guess just write until you’re tired?

(A peek into my brain, basically a stream of consciousness piece of writing. Notice how self-centered I am? I did…)

Some advice I got from my brother, and my dear friend Alex Harvey-Gurr is that shorter blog posts tend to be received better.

Screw it. I’m bored and I have nothing to do at the library except interact with the public.

And I know.
I’m a public servant.
But the public can be an entitled turd.
It never ceases to amaze me how many people can complain about a free service…

Here’s a retired joke about the library.

A library is a great place to work if you like telling people to shut up.

Here’s a joke I threw out because I didn’t like the tone.

Old Asian people and young black people have a lot in common, they just don’t like to acknowledge their commonalities because of racial tension… like, they both say "lie-barry" instead of "library…" We can all come together on not knowing how to pronounce "r" properly.

And I know they aren’t good jokes. That’s why I don’t use them.

***

I remember learning about the Industrial Revolution in school, and how a lot of farmers had to leave their livelihood on the field for factory jobs they were unqualified for. That, along with the aesthetics of despair one might pick up from reading about the Dust Bowl, really reminds me of the patrons I see on a daily basis who have zero computer skills.

I feel like I am watching people get left behind, but at the same time with all the land explored, there is nowhere to leave them behind. Regular job duties for today’s librarians and library staff include

signing people up for emails
teaching them how to use a printer/scanner
teaching them how flash drives work
what copy/paste means
Googling directions for people
Googling facts for people

I even had a guy who needed instructions on the differences between the left and right click on the mouse.

I know one of these day’s I will enter this demographic. Some technology will come out and I will think, "No one will ever use that. It’ll never catch on." But then it will.

True story: When the iPhone came out, I thought, hoped, prayed that it would fail. Now I use an iPhone. Because fuck me, right?

Not really. There are still some truly wonderful people who visit the library regularly. I see researchers and writers on a regular basis, as well as working class parents and their kids, just trying their best. And for every person that is getting left behind in the technological era, there are some folks willing, ready and able to help them get back on track.

And I think the initial hiccup which leads to that human obsolescence is the inability or resistance to change. That whole technology thing makes news very easy to access, so plain ignorance isn’t really an excuse anymore. Besides, as long as I maintain this positive, "grow yourself" attitude (or maybe even GROW THE GROW YOURSELF ATTITUDE) then I think I will be fine. I see eighty year olds with iPads doing things that I don’t know how to do. So yeah, it’s a big world out there. Don’t let those little Disney robots fool you.

Love,
Me.

Eric Wong is a writer and comedian. He probably needs another job.

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Wyatt Cenac’s Comedy Person Is Better Than The Government

Wyatt Cenac – Comedy Person

Best known for his work on the Daily Show, Comedy Person is Wyatt Cenac’s hour comedy special, which was released back in 2011. If you are expecting political humor, then Comedy Person may not be quite what you expected. That disclaimer being claimed, the album is fantastic. And for those hard-core Daily Show fans who weirdly have little interest in actual stand-up (I’m sure there are at least fourteen of you out there somewhere) an introduction from John Hodgman will serve to satisfy your Daily Show needs. Cenac’s recorded special demonstrates the comedians intelligence and writing ability without flaunting it, or shoving it your face. When you listen to someone like Bill Hicks or Joe DeRosa, they make you aware of the fact that they are the smartest person in the room. By contrast, any careful listener will realize that Cenac operates on a high level of intelligence, yet the performer displays this intellect without the ego of insisting you acknowledge his smarts.

Some of the jokes he tells (the cat video bit) require some deep thought at parts, and a lesser comedian could easily drop the ball in conveying the crucial components to the set up, but Cenac navigates the concepts with eloquent and efficient timing and vocal stress at all the right moments.

In addition to this, I always appreciate any move to challenge the form of stand-up. Personally, I thought fellow Daily Show correspondent Kristen Schaal’s special was a great artistic experiment and endeavor, (I’ll probably do one of these for her later) but I understand for the casual viewer how the uniqueness of the performance could have gone unappreciated. Cenac, on the other hand, makes small moves here and there that deviate from the “standard form.” Early on, he distinguishes the differences in experience that the live audience and the people listening at home/watching the special on TV will have.

Now, I know. This review is two years overdue. Sue me, I checked it out at the library. So why is this relevant? Because Mr. Cenac has just finished recording his new CD in Brooklyn, and it should be coming out in the near future. And if you see it on the Internet in the next few months and think, “Oh that looks interesting, but before I pay five dollars, maybe I should go check out his earlier stuff…” (which can be found at your local library if you live in an area that supports cool stuff like free information and entertainment as provided by a wonderful combination of the social contract, federal government and the public tax base) then you will know, that not only is the upcoming album by Wyatt Cenac worth looking into, but that Comedy Person is a delight and if you don’t mind going down to the most delightful place on Earth (THE LIBRARY) then you might even be able to check it out for free.

Or buy it on iTunes or a store and give the money to the the artist, but really, if you were a real Wyatt Cenac fan, you would already have Comedy Person.

If you have no idea who Wyatt Cenac is, how in the hell did you make it down this far? Educate yourself here:

Just a Reminder: Everything Is Awesome

Hey Eric

Remember waking up this morning after five hours of sleep to this?

Adorable.

He thinks he’s human. Look he’s even mimicking me with the pencil by his side.

Oh and he’s eating out of a rice bowl.
I do that too.

Racist.

So I did a lot of work on this blog today, connecting it to all my other social media outlets. If you’re just seeing this for the first time, welcome!

This is just a space I use for creative purposes. I added some pages with an updated info section, there are some links to some of my other work, and oh yeah I wrote a book.

I’ve been really sheepish in talking about it because prose is new to me, and I wasn’t entirely confident in it/it was written from a vulnerable place in my bah-deh during a really vulnerable time in mah life.

See how I’m misspelling things on purpose?
It’s because deep down I’m still a little insecure about it.

But fuck me, right?
This whole blog is about building confidence
And learning to love myself.

So I’ll be waiting to hear from Harper Collins or Random House… Really any second now…

Way to put yourself out there, sir.

Love,
Me.

E.I Wong is a writer and comedian. He projects his cultural identity onto his cat.

Just a happy update

Good early morning to you, you.

My night took a rather pleasant and unexpected turn. After leaving work, I ran into a very friendly, talented and funny comedian named Jeremy Talamantes. I hope I spelled his name correctly.

When I first started doing stand-up last May, he really struck me as the type of guy who understood what he was doing. He was clearly a “higher level comic” than the samplings of humans I had come across in my short time on the scene. I ended up going with him and another comic named Elvis to La Rocca’s comedy night, hosted by another very kind and welcoming individual named Bryce. I signed up, but never ended up going on because of time.

But despite the fact that I didn’t get on stage, I had a really good time just hanging out and seeing all the familiar faces of the very friendly and welcoming comedy scene in San Francisco. I used to have such horrible social anxiety, and I would have to drink to be able to say one awkward half-joke, but tonight I didn’t have anything to drink yet still had a good time and got to talk to a lot of cool people.

I surprised myself today with that lack of fear, and I am proud of you for going ahead and letting yourself do that.

Good job, buddy

Love,
Me

Eric Wong is a writer and comedian. He is really tired but can’t sleep

29 January, 2014 02:12

Hey there good lookin’

You’ve had a very productive afternoon! You had your first audition today, which was a weird experience, but an experience none-the-less. I don’t think they’ll choose me for the role, but they might offer me an extra spot which would be nice because the one day still pays two weeks worth of work at the library.

Because I didn’t have a real headshot, I gave the casting person a piece of printer paper with a selfie of myself with a cat on my shoulder. You can also totally tell that the mirror I’m using is filthy.

I also finally uploaded a clip of my stand-up onto the Internet! It can be seen here:

To wrap it all up, I worked on building confidence by sending out some inquiry emails to some showcase bookers. There were five in total, and while I don’t expect to hear back, it was a good exercise. And who knows! With all this wing flapping you’re doing something is bound to catch the breeze. So despite how uncomfortable it felt to put yourself out there, you did it and I’m proud of you. Keep up all the hard work my friend!

Love,
Me

Eric Wong is a writer and stand-up comedian. He is pretty good at getting stray cats to sit on his shoulder.

What A Strange Day

Hey Buddy,

 

So the podcast pilot experiment went well. I have yet to edit anything, but a sample of the beginning of our conversation can be found here:

 

 

Interesting cool thing happened today: I have an agent. Really? Yep. I got signed to MDA Talent, or something like that (I should probably know their company name if I’m going to be plugging them) after doing some stand-up in an Italian restaurant on Fisherman’s Wharf. It was my second bringer show, and the second one I did not get paid for, but at the end of the day, the manager of the talent agency approached me and signed me.

I didn’t think anything would come of it. I haven’t had the desire to act in a long time, and modeling isn’t really my thing. But I thought it would be a cool credit.

So this morning, I get an email from them saying I have an audition tomorrow. It pays $750 dollars, which for a guy working two minimum-ish wage jobs is a pretty big deal. And it’s for one day of work?! Tomorrow will be interesting. I haven’t auditioned for anything since my first year of college, and I haven’t seriously wanted to audition for anything since high school. But I guess what the booking really means is, I am fucking good looking. Or Asian. Maybe they just wanted an Asian guy.

 

(reads script prompt)

 

Yeah they wanted an Asian guy. BUT I STILL THINK YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL.

Now all I have to do is come up with a head-shot on printer paper and make up the best performer’s resume I can.

 

Anyway, you’re working hard. You’re putting some real effort into your life, and I for one appreciate it greatly. Now go get some more work done you beautiful bastard.

 

Love,

Me.

Eric Wong is a writer and comedian (and now apparently an actor) from San Francisco. He has a long torso, and his bedroom eyes look really angry because of his eyebrows.

Lemme just start by saying this: I like you.

Lemme just start by saying this: I like you.
You are a cool dude.

For the past several years, you have suffered from crippling self-doubt and self loathing. Not anymore, mother-fucker.

I’m going to be awesome.
By telling myself I’m awesome
and describing just how awesome I am
on the public forum that is the internet.

A little bit about me,
I am dating a girl way younger than me
and she’s a freak.

Totally nailing this being awesome thing.
Also, totally nailing this awesome being/thing.
She’s called my girlfriend.

: )

Don’t be a cunt, EI.

That’s the other thing you need to work on: Not being a cunt.

Sage advice for young men: If you are a cunt, you will get no pussy. After a while you will become isolated, and act like a real vagina.

You’ll also get depressed, eat a lot, get fat and grow boobs. And your parents will be dicks to you
because you’re not making any tennis-star-grandchildren for them.

That last part might have been just me…

Anyway, you worked really hard today. You got a lot done, you wrote up some questions for your upcoming podcast, (COUGH COUGH, not a cross-promotional plug) you shaved your balls for your sex depraved girlfriend and washed out the inside of your uncircumcised penis so that she wouldn’t get “dick lint” in her mouth.

Way to go.

Love,
Me

E.I. Wong is a writer and comedian from San Francisco. He’s tall and wears glasses sometimes.