“Donate”

Thank you for visiting to the donation page.

Imagine me as a guy on the street
with a cardboard sign.

If you saw that thing from this blog that made you chuckle on a cardboard scrap,
would you give that guy a dollar?

If you would smile politely and walk away quicker
I totally get it.
I’m not for everyone.

But if you’re here cause you said yes,
Click the link to Amazon and buy the dollar chapbook, “Tin Lion.” It’s a sort of “best of” collection of my favorites, a few of yours and a pair of new pieces. Get it. Read it. Enjoy. Or you know, buy a song on iTunes. Whatever makes you happy.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00QXW49XS

Thanks.

“But Eric,
I’ve read amazons payment policy.
You’re probably only going to get thirty-five cents for that!”

This is true.

“I’m one of those people who didn’t want to be part of the group that wanted to give you a dollar, but now I see that you only really get a quarter and a dime, and I would give you that, so now I’ve changed my mind!”

Thank you for reading this far
for no discernible reason
other than me
being really good at my pretend job…
You may proceed.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00QXW49XS

“But Eric! What if I think you deserve more than a dollar? I’ve paid $15.99 plus tax, or $22.19 Canadian for a 100 page poetry book of complete nonsense! I leave it on my coffee table when I want to fuck nerds!” (It is a really good investment to “support local poetry.”)

Calm down.

“YOU CALM DOWN. I’M CANADIAN. WHY DO WE HAVE TO PAY MORE FOR YOUR POETRY?!”

I don’t know what you want me to say.

“PROMOTE YOURSELF YOU PUSSY. YOU HAVE TO DO IT, OR YOU WILL DIE UNFULFILLED.”

You are an unstereotypically aggressive existentialist Canadian, sir.

See how I’m a lot more like the guy with the cardboard sign than you initially expected?

That’s a craft tool.
It’s called the truth.

Okay, fuck you.

Not you, the reader.

Me.

The guy who wrote that piece of garbage.

I won’t delete it because I want you to see I make horrible mistakes still, and am not at that level
Where I need/deserve all that wonderfully colorful Canadian currency.

If you want to give more,
Write a review on Amazon.
Do whatever everyone else is telling you to do.
I don’t know.
Gift it, if that’s a thing you can do.
Email it to someone.
I won’t get mad about the thirty-five cents.

Don’t print it out.
It’s not worth the paper.

Text it to a friend.
One at a time.
At dawn.

Whatever all your desperate friends want you to do for their creative stuff,

Do that to me.
Just to piss them off.

No, don’t do that.

Well do it,
but for the right reason.

Not to spite your stupid friend.

Give them a sundae with shaving cream.
Something that will make them have to purge.

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Seriously, don’t do that.

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If this applies to you,
And you needed convincing
Not to poison your friends

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you’re a weirdo.
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Like me.

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Do it.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00QXW49XS

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Thanks, I love you guys.