A glimpse into the universe where I am an educator

There is a theory

that the word “testify,” or “testimony,”

comes from the ancient Roman practice

of swearing oaths on one’s testicles,

explaining why in today’s courtrooms

the judge has a hammer.

Similarly, the saying,

“lightning never strikes the same place twice”

is of Greek origin;

reportedly, what Zeus told one-night stands

in the morning.

Now,

some of your parents have voiced concern

that I should be teaching material

more relatable to you kindergartners,

but that doesn’t mean we can’t challenge ourselves

or enjoy good literature,

so bearing that in mind, let’s all gather around

turn down the lights

and read more passages from Lolita.

**

To those of you who had no idea what Lolita was going into this,

and had to look it up, I’m so very sorry.

To those of you who are familiar with Nabokov,

please ensure I never become an English teacher

and tell your friends about Poet Robot.

-e.

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43 thoughts on “A glimpse into the universe where I am an educator

    • In the early promises, vows between Hebrew patriarchs, putting one’s hand on the upper thigh as on made a promise was a common euphemism with little explanation or elaboration. Almost too obvious to explain. Genesis 24: 1-4. Then we have circumcision…careful with the knife.

  1. Gosh. ! Remind me of one time when a little girl asked me “what is sex”.. After a pause I said .. “you are a girl. .. so you are female. ..and boys are of male sex.. blah blah”.. phew! I was so proud of my head that day. !

  2. It is not even so far-fetched as some may think it to be. All of antiquity, including its literature and all other forms of art, was (positively) obsessed with human sexuality. On the upside, people enjoyed sex far more than in today’s societies which have not yet recovered from the tyranny of centuries of Abrahamic theology. Teaching children and adolescents about sex is one of the best things to do, for thus they can live healthy, fulfilled lives instead of fixating upon manners of suppressing their basic natural needs – in which people never succeed, anyway, but instead bring out the worst in human nature.
    To quote the recently deceased Ian ‘Lemmy’ Fraser Kilmister, ‘Believe me, The Hammer’s gonna bring you down’. Come to think of it, this explains a lot. I shall let you know when I find out what, exactly.

  3. You have a twisted mind. Not sure why I haven’t followed you before. Laziness, I suppose. Funny, because I just finished reading Lolita the other day. One would have no idea that English wasn’t his first language, would they? My blogging friend Anna from girlinthehat wrote a provoking piece about Lolita recently. That’s all for now.

  4. Pingback: More Poetry! – English and Eggshells

  5. Pingback: A glimpse into the universe where I am an educator | talklifewithdepression

  6. As the mother of a Kindergartner, I agree that we need to keep you out of that classsroom! I did enjoy your poem, though, and appreciate your visiting me at Trigger’s Horse. – Fawn

  7. I have been encouraged to to venture into the world of blogs and I have stumbled across your theory concerning the origins of ‘testify’, this post made me laugh and gave a new perspective on the court room! I will be reading some more of your posts!

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