Perks of the Industry

In Amsterdam

if someone dies without a next of kin

and no one attends their funeral

a poet is hired to write and recite a piece for their service.

It doesn’t pay a whole lot

but at least I can start writing off

those vats of homemade “hobo poison”

as a tax deductible business expense.

43 thoughts on “Perks of the Industry

  1. I like this one a lot. My mind can’t stop wondering, whether you made up the hiring-a-poet thing in Amsterdam or not… It would be such a nice idea, anywhere in the world.

  2. Pingback: poems for the unsung | floatsome

  3. I admire what a hard worker you are! You could just grow lazy and suck off the government’s teats, but here you are being industrious and being almost as evil as our elected officials. You are my hero.

  4. Talk about making your own opportunities! I am curious about who hires for this position and when they know that they have an opening to be filled. If an official attends every funeral and realizes that no one else is coming and then speed dials you to write a poem before the casket is fully lowered into the grave, the whole thing could become a very fast-paced and high intensity affair. I’d rather take my time, or perhaps take a gamble and come up with some drafts for nasty bastards who are on their sick bed, just in case they kick it.

  5. The first time I read it I thought, how lovely, I want that job because I love to write. And then I read it again. And then, OMFSM I had to read it thrice. Hilarious. Dark, but hilarious. PS. Please stop killing hobos. They inspire charity. And I hope, despite the whimsical death threat in the thread above that no one steals your idea in any way so drastic. ~ DM

  6. You wicked, wicked man! But while I’m on, maybe I’ll come to you when I’m looking for new business ideas? You seem to have a plan.

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