Follow the red light

A laser sight makes murder too easy.
You could be the worst sniper in the world
use the laser sight
& kill a whole lot of cats.

*

The JFK assassination would have played out a lot differently
if we elected cats to the presidency.

You’d watch the Zapurruder film
& after the first shot
John Furry Kittendy Jr.
would see the laser
& bat the back of the Texas Governpurr’s hat.

At the end
Jackie Meowcatsus
would still climb out the back
to get scraps of skull and brain,
but to eat them.

***

I promise I will never make another cat pun for the rest of my writing career.

E.I

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36 thoughts on “Follow the red light

  1. Quite interesting. Very disturbing. I’m almost afraid to say the word “funny” here. To me, the JFK thing is just one of those events where it will never be the “right” time to make jokes. However, I am a sucker for puns and I love cats, so I’m going to go ahead and give this two reluctant paws up.

  2. Yes you will make more of them and good thing. Cats know they are in charge so they need the reminder sometimes that a few will try to resist their rule. It is already too late for our family we were taken over by two cats some time ago. Now as to the laser thing with cats, have you seen what happens when they get tired of it, they tear up curtains, climb walls, and attack poor defenseless humans. Not a pretty sight. šŸ™‚ Hugs

  3. So true about the cats, I believe mine has plotted homicide. By the way always wanting to circle the legs while walking. As causing me to trip. I know it is in their nature. However it is against my nature to be tripped and hitting the ground. šŸ™‚

  4. You may want to separate this joke from the real world, a bit more. In the future some people will probably want cat DNA. Working the joke around anonymous people ,in the future, may work. Good joke, but if you plan use it in a stage act; current events and a sensitive audience may cause a problem.

  5. No, you need to do more.

    I think you should take a handful of historical events and give them a feline’s spin, the outcome sometimes the same, and sometimes purrpindicular to the original. Okay, I’ll stop.

    But seriously, I purrsonally would enjoy a series adhering to this concept.

    – Cat Lady.

  6. Reblogged this on Bipolar For Life and commented:
    I’ve been crying my eyes out this evening, missing my dad. A week before he died I brought a book to the nursing home to read to him. It was a book of essays by E.B. White. My favorite one is called Death of a Pig, and is, well, about the death of a pig that E. B. was raising. As I began I suddenly panicked, thinking here I am reading a rather gruesome story about death to a man who is very close to death himself. So I said, Dad, do you mind some black humor? It was an effort for him to speak at that point, but he gave me the best grin he could muster and said, “The blacker, the better!” So here’s a wonderful bit of black humor for you, Dad, full of awful puns that you would love.

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