Today’s Headlines and Subsequent Joke Practice

1. National Geographic reported that scientists were able to track a great white shark across the Atlantic ocean for the first time… Or at least that’s what the shark wanted them to believe…

2. The Global Post released an article today claiming that elephants can pick up clues about a person’s gender and ethnicity by their voice. Or maybe it had something to do with those gigantic ears…

3. In Portland, police had to subdue a 22 pound cat after it attacked a 7 month old baby and its parents. Because its Portland, the family is not pressing charges, and have actually put the cat in therapy. I have no joke here. Just… come on, Portland…

Eric Wong is a writer in San Francisco. He will be going to Portland in a few months. Read nothing into this, Portland.

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